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My thoughts you can't decode

I went to a Twilight vampire prom tonight.

I'd been on the planning committee and we'd been planning for over a month.

It turned out amazingly.

I won prom queen.

I was dressed as Alice.

It was kinda cool.

I got a shiny tiara.

It's still on my head.

Although...I do find it kind of funny.

How the only time I'll ever win something at a prom is when it involves a bunch of awkward Twilight fans.

Thanks guys.

I love you all.

Pictures when other people send 'em to me.

So tonight I'll sit and pick apart your pictures. And over-analyze your words.

I feel like Veronica, Vada, and Dade all at once.

Love is just a hoax so forget anything that you've heard.

The truth is that I've never fallen so hard.

And I've still got the scars to prove you never cared.

Love is...

Being stupid together.

Being able to say you're sorry.

Wishing on a star.

Turning his head.

The pattern of life.

Throwing a party for two. rubix

More than skin deep.

Going over all the reasons why he has not called you.

Feeling you are at crossroads.

Beautifying yourself for him.

Having your picnic indoors on a rainy day.

Putting on a smiley face.

Sometimes like a ribik's cube.

What lifts the gloom.

When you can't get to school fast enough.

Pooling your loose change for pizza.

When you can't hide your feelings.

Getting caught in the rain together.

I miss the way t used to be.

I miss us.

This night's a perfect shade of dark blue.

Dear Anonymous.

I don't know what the hell I was thinking.

Yours Always,

      Alissa

Something or Other

It's just something. I don't really understand it myself. Maybe it's his smile, or the little wave he always throws in my direction when he spots me in the hall. Maybe it's the way he doesn't do anything with his hair, just leaves it messy and gorgeous. It could be the way his voice glides over my ears and the shivers it sends up and down my spine when he says my full name. Or the way he makes me laugh when I don't even feel like smiling. Maybe it's the way his eyes bore into mine when he speaks to me, or how it makes my breath quicken when we're close, in apprehension of what might happen next. I can't forget the pleasant heat and friction I feel when he touches me, not only on my skin, but in the pit of my stomach. Or the way that when he close, I swear he can hear my heart beating. Then again, maybe it's just because he's simply amazing.

When the world tries to make you a puppet, cut the strings and run like hell.

Sometimes the world is gonna hit you in the face for no reason.

Sometimes people you trust are gonna turn around and try to break you.

Sometimes what they hear about you might be true.

But in the end, the only things that will matter is that you got back up.

You realized those people weren't worth your time.

And that what they hear is probably just as fake as the bitch who told them.

***

So here's to Caitlin.

The one that sees passed all the lies people spread about.

The one that gets me through the days when I don't want to smile.

The one that told me I was to good for him.

The one that has always been there for me.

The one that keeps me sane.

The one that would never leave me.

But most importantly the one who has always stayed true in my complicated world.

They say, "You want a war? You've got a war."

Does anyone else notice how I always seem to manage to fuck everything in my life up without even trying?

I am hopeless.

I am so screwed.

I couldn't sleep last night because I spent the entire night mulling over everything thats happened the past few days.

I just feel so beyond shitty.

But there's nothing I can do about it when no one will listen.

I mean, I feel like if I got a chance to speak, this all could've been resolved quietly.

Does ignoring me honestly seem like a better idea?

I can't people in my life for more than a few months.

And I'm starting to think that it's not them......

It's me.

It’s like all I can do is keep writing this gibberish to keep from breaking apart.

I'm slightly off kilter, and everyone seems to know.

But I'm not mad that they think that.

I know that I brought this all on myself.

I just wish there was some way to make it up to everyone.

I'd do anything not to be this way.

But I know I deserve this.

I just wish that someone would tell me what's wrong with me.

If they could just tell me how to be different in a way that makes sense.

So this will all go away and disappear.

I know that's wrong because it's my responsibility.

And I'm told that things have to get worse before they can get better but this is a worse that just feels to big.

People call me strange.

So I watched a bit of the presidential debate whenever the hell it was on[I'm two sick to remember.]

It was a giant waste of my time.

We've got two people on either extremes.

Either way issues won't be resolved, people will be unhappy and life will suck.

If we vote in McCain we're raciest bastards right?

Well fucking hell.

That is ridiculous.

If Obama isn't voted in we're all automatically racist?

Well if we don't vote in McCain is it because his vp is a chick? 

Are we anti-feminist now too?

I suppose that's good to know when the time comes for me to vote.

By the way, this is nothing against Obama personally but I can't look at an Obama/Biden sign without seeing Osama Bin Laden. 

Kind of makes me feel bad for the guys, ya know?

Anyways, I've come to the following conclusion.

All America really needs is an independent.

Bring.

It.

On.

Inspire me.

I've stopped doing my writing prompts after eight.

I never finish anything I start.

The World has it's shine, but I would drop it on a dime for you.

I'm such a creeper.
Anything to make myself a little bit more hopeful.
And my failure a little bit more epic.

Mixxtape.

RULES
1. Put Your itunes, windows media player etc on Shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name
5. Tag 6 people.


Are you male or female? Aliens and Rainbows. [well then...]
Describe yourself. Zombie Graveyard Party.
What do people feel when they're around you? She's a Handsome Women-[hahaha]
Describe your current relationship. There are More Frightening Things...
Where would you like to be now? California.
How do you feel about love? Break it Out.
What's your life like? Missundaztood. [Wow. How oddly fitting.]
What would you ask for if you had only one wish? His Girl Friday. [How about just William Beckett?]
Say something wise. The Piano Knows Something I Don't Know.
If someone says "Is this ok?" you say: Calm Before The Storm.
How would you describe yourself? Trashed and Scattered. [lol.]
What do you like in a guy/girl? Roses and Butterflies.
How do you feel today? In Bloom.
What's the purpose of your life? Moving On. [Hmmm...]
What is your motto? Moving For The Sake Of Motion.
What do your friends think of you? You're A Waste.
What do you think of your parents? How I Could Just Kill A Man.
What do you think about very often? What Is Love?
What is 2+2? 155.
What do you think of your best friend? This is Our Town.
What do you think of the person you like? Reinventing The Wheel To Run Myself Over.
What's your life story? Stranger Things have Happened.
What do you want to be when you grow up? Whoa
What will you dance to at your wedding? Awake.
What will they play at your funeral? Wake The Dead [LMFAO]
What's your hobby? Hiding Inside The Horrible Weather.
What's your biggest fear? I Can't Do It Alone.
What's your biggest secret? Believe Me I'm Lying.