It's not the sin, it's the mess that feels so right.

Vacation.
Throw relaxation out the fucking window and welcome my family to your hotel.

Pros
-Meeting the Prince Caspian look alike guy thing......My heart wants to believe he is real, that there is someone out there who will say such sweet and charming things to me, who can actually turn me into a puddle at their feet. But my head tells me it was all fake, it all is fake and it'll never be.
-Bought The Lost Boys:The Tribe. Once you join the tribe, you never leave.
-Got out of my house for a stretch of time.
-Bought a little Prince Caspian action figure. Yep. I did. And it was well worth it.
-Got to act like I was five again and not get talked down to because of it.

Cons
-Plane ride.
-With my family.
-No place to escape to.
-Got my fucking period about halfway through.
-Ten days without actual internet. [Not including the shit on my phone and my brother's iTouch]
-Ten days without a way to get off........
-Sharing a bed with my brother for five days at the time share and giving up a queen bed for a couch for five days at the disney resort.
-Getting verbally abused.
-Coming so fucking close to relapsing it was ridiculous
-Missed the Breaking Dawn party.
-Missed my friends.
-Missed my blog, no internet means no way to get on here.
-Got sick.
-Had two big "family discussions"
-Lost all respect for my brother, took me long enough.
-Got verbally abused, which isn't really anything new, but of course like I said, this time there was no where to go to get away.
-Felt detached.
-Over-heard my mom talking to my dad and my brother about how a couple times she's considered taking me away and living somewhere without my dad and my brother. She's even talked about it with my grandmother before, yet she's never said a thing to me about it. It has something to do with needing a healthy place to raise me.
-Had to sit in the room while my mom told my dad and my brother that they're part of the reason I'm so fucked up, defensive, jumpy, anxious and every other screwed up thing about me. I know my nerves are shot. Let's not talk about though.

I could continue this but I'm in the mood to keep reliving it right now.
Fuck this life.
I thought the pros were always supposed to outweigh the cons.